My time on ECMO was, and will always be, a blur to me. It was as if my brain was shut off for a few months. Coming off ECMO, it was a strange feeling to wake up and how much time had passed. Only then did I learn about my event, told entirely through my family and friends. After two-and-a-half months in the hospital, and countless procedures, I was released to inpatient rehabilitation in January 2015.
I will never forget the day I arrived at inpatient rehab. It was the first time I really looked at myself in the mirror. I was devastated. I did not recognize myself. How could I go from a strong, athletic, and healthy young woman to a frail, skinny, sick girl in a flash? I had scars in places I never had before. The one running down the length of my neck where the ECMO cannula kept me alive: I was horrified by it. I had stitches and a feeding tube. My face and feet now drooped due to the trauma. I was blind in my right eye. I just could not believe it. But something inside told me to be strong and keep going to see what tomorrow held.
The next morning, I woke determined to take on the day by washing and dressing myself. I remember my first shower. It felt so good that I didn’t want to get out. Physical therapy proved to be challenging yet highly rewarding. I was continuing to struggle, but I was also continuing to improve. A short time later, I was released to home treatment.
It was during those first weeks home that I began feeling like me again. I started feeling and seeing positive improvements. As the months passed by, I became eager to begin the next chapter in my life. I started researching different careers, but nothing felt right. One day I remembered my parents talking about how the ECMO machine was monitored 24/7. I became curious and researched the machine and those responsible for it: nurses, perfusionists, and respiratory therapists. As I learned about respiratory therapy, I saw photos of endotracheal and tracheostomy tubes. They brought back memories of my own treatment.
I found a Respiratory Care program at a local college and applied for admission. When I was interviewed by the program director, he asked me why respiratory? I smiled and said, “Well, it is a pretty long story.” And so, I told him about my journey on ECMO.
Five years later, my life has changed forever. I am a Respiratory Therapist in hope of becoming ECMO specialist or even a perfusionist one day. My life goal is to save lives in the same way I once was saved. Sometimes life has a way of placing you right where you belong – in my case, come full circle.